Tim, you gotta talk to your Maps people

 

November 26 2024

Kyoto

The train to Kyoto was on time to the minute. Someone told me this trip that the nation wide yearly deviation from scheduled time per train is like 50 seconds. Well mine didn’t deviate a second. I found my seat and sat down. Like a genetic push in a rocking chair The train began and just kept getting faster and faster and then we were screaming along at near 200 miles an hour. Looking on the window and then in a flash for 2 seconds another Shinkansen in the other direction passes you. So fast it is kind of frightening. I mean a closing speed of about 400 miles an hour. Yikes.

The Green Car is certainly the way to go. Not the luxury of the Executive car in Italy with it’s 8 seats in the whole car, but you get aircraft type seats, wide, reclining, table, foot rest. Seems decadent getting that comfort for a couple hour train ride. I’ve heard said, never ride in the Green car, because afterward any other class is misery.

We pulled into Kyoto and got off to one of those mega terminals. I’m getting the hang of that and the intimidation factor is lessened. While on the train I used their WiFi to make a hotel reservation. I didn’t know what part of town to look at so I just picked one in my price range. Seems it is 2 blocks from the Shinkansen station. Of course Apple Maps sent me on a scenic walk about that covered 4 blocks.

Nice room. I bet the tv is an 85 incher. I have never heard of a tv this big in a hotel room.

By the time in got into the room it was after 2pm still time to explore. I found the name of a Buddhist thingie that was a walkable mile and a half. Apple Maps says a little more than an hour.

Follow blue line. Go down main streets, turn down little alleys for a while turn again, and end up on the original big street, do this over and over. Sometimes it says cut across this field, only problem there is a 5 story apartment building in the way. Go uphill, so you can go downhill. It is frustrating. I’m going to try to remember to try Google maps and see if it’s less of a tour guide and more of a drill sergeant.

So the one hour walk is more on the 1 hour 30, or 45. I reach the gates and it is closed ! Closed tight. Tighter than a. …. You come up with a simile, because all mine are naughty. I can’t believe it. I’ll walk around to the side and see if I can slip in there, while no one is looking. Well they thwarted that great plan too, with a Do Not Enter sawhorse.

Guess I’ll head back. J(apanese) R(ailines) runs the Shinkansen so the train station is big, easy to find. I type JR train station into Apple Maps and start following the blue line. This time it is taking me exclusively down alleys and narrow streets. I mean, I haven’t seen a round eye and hour. Not since the tear filled ones at the closed Buddhist thingie. I am going under bridges, up stairways, down stairways. Down 1 street light streets. Ok Apple Maps, what gives? Well it ain’t totally A Maps fault. JR Train station is a local, and Kyoto station is where the big kids go. Recomputed and in a while, time has begun to mean nothing by now. Just put one foot in front of the others and try not to stumble or weave down the street.

Bright lights big city suddenly is at the end of a darkened alley and there it is ! Kyoto station. I realize the last thing I ate was breakfast on the ship. Feed me ! I’m not sure I’m up to meal choosing bingo, but hotel dinner seems a cop-out. To my left in a mall window I see a sign for food one floor down. Ok, lets go. I find food immediately. How do I know it’s food? Because of the Golden Arches. Yes, I have to admit, the first real meal in Japan is Mc Donalds. For under $5 I received a hamburger with bacon (more like thin ham) and lettuce, regular sized fries, and a soft drink. It all tasted just like it tastes anywhere, but with a slight variation. The Special sauce has a bit of a twang to it.

Back at the hotel I raise my feet above my hips and just chilled until time to close my eyes for the day.

I think Apple Maps planned my sleep last night. It was fitful to say the best. Partly because the room is huge and the ceilings high. By the time it gets warm at bed level, it is too hot to sleep and hard to cool off for sleeping temperature. Then there are those pillows. I had read about Japanese buckwheat pillows, but had not experienced them. They are as soft as a statue, light as an anvil, and thick as a Kleenex. It’s easier to move the bed and the pillows. They did not make good bedmates.

Day started and I had a hotel breakfast and then asked where the Shrine I wanted to see was. Apple Maps said a mile and a half that way. For once it got me to my destination without a scenic trip through the residential parts of Kyoto.

More and more round eyes, and more and more eyes in general began to appear. Then the ice cream shops and the Kimono rentals and I was in tourist Kyoto. This temple is located on a hillside and is famous for a path up and down the hill that is lined with red Tori gates. So tightly placed together that all you can see is a cave of red poles. The promotional pictures show pristine path lined with red. Reality is that you can barely see the gates for you and your fellows. In two by twos we marched up the hill and never had to worry about falling of stumbling, because you would bump into someone on the way down and their body would catch you. I got the I’ve been there done that checked off my list. Slightly disappointed, but I knew what I was getting myself into, just not expecting that many others to be doing the same thing.

I got my shrine autograph book signed by a priestess and then headed for the ice cream shop down the hill. A vanilla and sweet potato cone and once that was gone. Back to Apple Maps for my next destination. A golden building on a lake, but first. I still had a couple ship vacation cigarettes left. This was as good a time as any to burn one. I walked parallel to the tracks away from the general population before burning a stick of incense to the nicotine god. When I finished I flicked the fire off the end and tapped the remaining tobacco on the ground and was stuck with the filter. I looked in front of a few apartments for a trash can, I mean I could drop it and run, but that isn’t what the cool kids do. There was a construction guy playing with his phone in the cab of his truck. I excused myself and mimed “What do I do with this?” Hoping he’d say drop it on the ground. He smiled, removed the semi filled ashtray from the truck, held it out the window for me to drop it in. I did exactly that, and thanked him. He gave the best grin I’d had all day.

Gold building next. 1.9 miles. I’m tired of seeing alleys. So I press the bus icon on the directions in Apple Maps. Walk a couple steps over there, turn go a few more and get on the next train to Kyoto Station. Get off at Kyoto Station, hit track 32 and go until you hit the right spot and get off. Find bus 204, follow it for 6 stops and to have a 5 minute walk ahead.

That went like clock work, got on 204 bus counted six stops. Walked to the exit, but my magic watch with the magic bus card in to on the glass and stepped off. One step later “Honk, honk” from the bus, the driver motions me back, and shows me my magic watch didn’t have enough to pay for the full fare. I’m holding the bus up for 78 cents. I was lucky that I segregated the coins before leaving the hotel, so in one pocket was the 100 coins and the other had the 10 coins and I dropped them into the hole by the driver, all the time “Sumemasen”ing (Excuse me, I’m sorry, I’m a fuck up). The fare correct the driver gave me a sincere smile and pulled away.

Once on the sidewalk and almost getting creamed by a bicycle things were looking good. Bikes are allowed on the sidewalks here, and they do not yield to pedestrians unless it looks like they might scrape their bikes. If Japan ever goes to war again and needs Kamikaze pilots, I know the best people for the job.

Back to alleys, and major streets and at one point it wanted me to go down to a canal and walk along it, only to come back up to the same street 5 blocks later. More walking and at one point Apple Maps says .3 miles to the next turn. Okay I make It there and the turn and .4 miles to the next turn. Whoah! Wait a minute. This was supposed to be a short walk. Let’s see what a different app says. Waze is my default for driving, it will work. Yup. 1.8 miles to the temple. I counted the number of stops like you told me, where did we go wrong?

Forget about it. GO taxi app, save me. I am not following this stinking blue line anymore.

Less that a 40 story ride in Osaka and I was at the right place. It was worth the trip. Would have been worther without the detour but it was spectacular. Even with an overcast sky it was what the postcards said. Yes it was crowded and I had to wait my turn for a place at the railing sometimes to get my postcard shot, but it was a good sight. Three quarters of the way through the grounds it lightly began to rain, and then slowly intensified.

You all, know I live in western Washington state, where the state Bird is the Slug. So with a little rain just keep going. I’d left my raincoat in the room and it was starting to become actual rain. The sheer top I was wearing, if it got much wetter, I could compete in the wet t-shirt contest. Taxi ! No blue line, no number 204, Taxi !

Kyoto station, please. “JR Japanese something or other?” - Shinkansen. “Ok!”

Waze estimated the time and we got there about the right time. Scurried across the street, got a sandwich, chips and a water at 7-11 and made it back to the hotel without winning any contests. Might have been eligible for the wet dog contest.

7pm. Think hotel food, since it is still raining. Good night.