HUE, Hue, hue ........

 Monday the 13th of November

Went back to the room and watched an hour on the iPad and ran out of gas around 9pm. The previous night’s escapade and having to climb a mountain both ways kind of made 9pm a good time to sleep.

I did okay until around my usual hour, 3:30am then was wide awake. I was worried, I hadn’t seen Montezuma in a long time and was starting to wonder if I should find those pills for “when you are feeling sluggish “. If so, how do I get this across to a pharmacist when Google translate can’t get me a beer?

A quick shower and some stuffin’ of stuff into bags and and sitting and zipping them shut and it was time for breakfast. I haven’t had French Toast in forever, that and some bacon and coffee and life was back on track, in all ways.

I was all set to bitch to TripAdvisor about the slovenly service at this hotel. I mean I paid for two nights and the cleaning staff didn’t touch my room while I was out spelunking. I mean, can you even think it? I had to sleep on the same sheets two, count them two sleeps!! That isn’t even mentioning the towel situation. As she reviewed the bill which was just a hint over $100 for two nights, taxi 20 miles to and from from the cave, two very substantial breakfasts, one dinner and  five hour bus ride, I noticed the she had not charged me for an additional night, but a $20’ish ‘Early check-in’. Well that sure as heck ruined my complaining, darn her!

8:30 am taxi to (I forgot to add that in the above) to the bus pick-up location. My taxi was a pick-up, and got me there for the 9am bus to Hue’. This bus was another of those sleeper type buses but quite a bit more Spartan then the previous ones. It’s okay it’s only 4 or 5 hours. We stopped immediately for driver breakfast for 30 minutes and two more 15 minute pee and cigarette breaks that’s how come it takes so many hours to go so few miles here. That and the roads are worse that Washington’s backroads and filled with motorcycles and pedestrians going any which way down the AH-1. I’m not sure if the AH stood for Ass Hole or Auto Highway or what, but it was just a city street 30% of the time .

Around the 4+’ish hour mark we stop at what can only be described as a semi-truck tire shop and the people wrangler walks through the bus with Google translate text on his phone “Free taxi ride to Hue train station”. I am going to the city center, not some far flung train station in Hue. Still it's better to check. I point to HUE on my map app and he says “I love fried chicken”, or something and waves his hand. So I stay put. We skirt the city but map app shows we are heading straight to the airport. Not my preferred destination, but workable I guess. I Google how many Ho's to get to the city via bus and taxi and it and my budget are comfortable with the results.

The next time I check the app the airport is long in the rear view mirror. And HUE is becoming Hue on the app. I show the app to the baggage boy and he finds the people wrangler and they all surround the driver and everyone is talking about “loving chicken dinner’ or something, all the while Hue is becoming hue on the app. Chicken dinner is getting talked about and Hue is getting smaller and small in both the rear view mirror and the app. I try to explain how it’s my fault for being a dope and dump me out and I’ll find a taxi. All they hear is how much I love turkey dinner. And on we go. Chicken dinner, turkey dinner. At an opening in the center guardrail on a major north south highway the bus turns around and he puts the spurs to it. Pedal to the metal time. By this time I’ve given up on dumping my out and I’ll find a taxi. WE are screaming down the road and lights flashing and horn honking at every big bus we pass. After the fourth one it’s pretty obvious none of them are going to stop. Then the littlest public bus is sitting on the shoulder of the road either picking up or dropping off someone and my bus driver makes like a Highway Patrol stop and blocks the Little Bus That Could.

At this particular moment the skies open and an actual torrential downpour hits. I am not joking that my shower at home has less flow and pressure than this 50 foot scramble from one bus to another. The people wrangler stuffs a wad of bills ($2 ??) into the new driver’s hand, the baggage boy tosses my luggage on the Li’l bus and run back to their appointed rounds.

What the heck? Back home would have either ejected me at the first sound of the word “Taxi’ or said “I’ll let you off at the next pee spot”. I am still amazed, I might have to mentally apologize to Ms. Plastic Fantastic’s friend on the boat in Halong bay. I at least felt some shame over this.

On the city bus there are now eight of us and it is totally the after school bus. Six student types and one mature woman, me and the driver. hue, becomes Hue and eventually HUE on the app. But G’ translate is worthless for any concept other than ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’ so I sit quietly and try to not dampen my neighbors when  shake my head. After a bit we stop at a gas station to fill up. I espy a taxi or two and tell the driver I am changing from one mode of transport to another. I think he might have been grateful to get rid of me, because he didn’t stop me for a second.

I ask the taxi driver how much to my hotel. He looks at my app and me and I can see the gears turning “Hmm.. little bus .. hmm if she was on a motor scooter $3, if she was on a big bus $5, but little bus … hmm .. I’ll ask for $4 and let her get me down to $3.50” …. 100,000 Vietnam Dongs ! — sounded good to me so $4 it is, except he is a country (suburb) boy and needs me and App to get him to the hotel. We do alright only 1 wrong turn and I am at my hotel, I think. If not at least we are close. He let’s me out at an alley next to my ‘probably’ hotel and is gone. Thinking “I sure soaked that rich bitch for $.50!”

It was the correct hotel and check in couldn’t have gone smoother. I had booked a ‘city view’ but asked the clerk how much it would cost to upgrade to a ‘River view’, she said they had already upgraded me. What? The room is spectacular for the price and even is a corner room with windows on two walls on the 12th floor. I don’t know what possessed them but I am grateful.

I’ve spent and hour and a vodka tonic writing this. It’s now 5:20pm, might have to rustle up some grub, French Toast and bacon only goes so far, and today it’s run a marathon.