Kiwis and Frogger

Saturday, May 11, 2024 - Juneau, Alaska

My post dinner routine was to go to the casino for my tossing of the bones. My favorite craps buddy, Amos had just left. So it was just me and some guy. He was pleasant, though more focused on the money than the game. For me, yes the money counts, so does the energy and the other players. I put the ship’s hundred dollars and cashed it into a bunch of clay. My style is to take back all the wins and put them in my pocket, that’s my money. The hundred belongs to the ship. When the hundred is gone I’m done, and I empty my pocket to see what’s in there. I don’t chase losses, nor wins. My pocket had a pile of clay, the ship gave me back their hundred and gave me $80. Thank you ship. A five for the boys and I was done for the night.

Morning came at 6am, but it was overcast and we were still running. Forget getting up, the bed is too comfortable. I felt guilty at 7 and got up. Puttered around, we were allowed to get off the ship to stand in a short rat maze to get on the bus for town.

I spoke to a few people in of the row of shacks on the dock that were hawking Whale watching boat outings, rides to the glacier, and who knows what else. A three hour whale watch tour at $200, a ride 13 miles to stop at the glacier for an hour $90. Then there was the cable car up the mountain for $50. All way past what I felt were worth it. I googled bike shops and found a bike rental shop a stone’s throw from where I was. At 40 skins for four hours for an e-bike seemed a Juneau bargain. The sky was cloudless, the temperature temperate. Helmet on and assured I probably would become bear poop off I went. Well I should say off we went. A couple from the land of Hobbits and shoe shine birds insisted that I was the lead, and they were following me. Fuck! I don’t want to be a tour guide. I mean I’m as ignorant of the area as they are, I just go where Apple Maps tells me. So now I have to babysit these people and can’t go at the pace that I think is right for me. I have to pedal HARD just to show them I am not a wimp, instead of my casual saunter I am suddenly in Tour De Juneau. I want to leave them eating my dust, but when we come to a fork in the road I stop and wait for them to catch up.

Apple Maps was true, and we got there in a whisker more than one hour. 12.9 mph average pace wasn’t bad. I could have cut off a bit without the Kiwi baggage. Regardless a satisfactory pace. We parted at the Ranger Station and I was left to myself. I assumed they would be waiting on my return for the remainder of the tour.

The glacier was pretty spectacular. The only problem my legs were rubber. So I wobbled around and cursed any rise in the trail. I met a woman who recognized me from the ship, and we passed the time for a few minutes. She found a new drink on this cruise called a Mudslide. At the price of Included in the cruise. I’ll make sure to try it when I get back to the ship. Walking the trail to the waterfall my legs are screaming. Keeping a happy face on so not to whine to passing strangers I trudge on. About 3/4 of the way I approach a woman struggling but persisting back up the trail. I asked her “Am I going the right direction for the tour bus?” She was fast ! “Yes, just keep going and when you reach the end turn around and come back this way.” That was a funny and fantastic retort.

The falls were great, with the glacier in the background and the lake in the forefront it was worth the responsibility getting here.

Now for the ride back it is following a river to the sea, so in theory it is all downhill. Unfortunately the river is not a fast river so as the tour guide says it is ‘mostly flat’. Meaning it had hills. Now the wind is flowing up the river canyon and directly in my face. I am nearly a danger to myself, but my ego is sometimes stronger than common sense, and it was in charge for sure.

Apple Maps was helpful on the way home, but I am not sure if it was me or the app, I ended up on a road what was marked 55 mph and the cars and trucks only took it as a suggestion. A woman pulled abreast of me and rolled down her window and said “You shouldn’t ride on this road, it is dangerous!” I totally agree’d with her, but there was no way of getting off it until the next intersection a mile or more away. I hugged the guardrail like a NASCAR driver and got to a stop light and was able to cross the street. I stayed on side streets for a few miles and somehow got directed back to that fuckin’ highway. I pee’d my pants and continued until I saw a left turn land and made a mad dash across two lanes of speeding traffic to the semi safety of the center lane divider and then across the opposite two lanes of wheeled death.

A road sign said 3 miles to town. “I think I can. I think I can ….”. I stayed off that darned highway the rest of the way. I am so, so happy the New Zealand couple were not following my directions back. She’d be having the screaming meemies on that highway. If there was someone there to hear me I certainly would have.

I turned the bike in and caught the bus back to the ship on uncertain legs. The first thing I did was go to the closest bar and order a Mudslide. Chocolate syrup coats the inside of the glass. Rum, Kahlua and some other booze. Ice cream scoop and more chocolate syrup. Blend til smooth and some chocolate syrup on top. Apple Watch said I had burned 1800 or so calories on the bike ride. The Mudslide negated that and then some, I’m sure.

Once I found my legs again I walked down to my room and sprawled on the bed for a while. There was a knock at the door, and it was Jesus passing out tomorrow’s schedule. I took it and then he talked. He’s over worked, under paid, has to bunk with 8 other men and the food stinks. Sounds like he’s in the Army. I listened and felt his pain and he departed to continue to pass out the schedule.

Nook had a dead battery and needed recharging. Apple Watch wanted food. So I brought iPad to dinner. The wine steward came by, suggested a wine at a slight up charge and the wine was an excellent pairing with the meal. I slipped him a 5 and now I’m his best friend ever. He must have stopped by 10 times over the meal to check on me. Shoo ! Give me some space, please.

All done with dinner. See you tomorrow. Hope I can tell you about the Aurora that is forecasted for tonight.