Oh, for want of a nail.

 

January 9 2023 Luang Prabang, Laos

Continued

To get into the station you need a ticket, of course, mask and identification. Then through the metal detector and hand wand while your luggage and if you still used camera film were exposed to x-rays.

The train leaves at 1228 with boarding at 1216. Not 15 and not 17, 16! I watched the gate guy hand on the gate until the digital clock go from 15 to 16. Assigned cars and assigned seats and still an every man, woman and child for themselves. I got a seat across from where I was assigned and called it good.

The train passes through some of the most picturesque landscape of the entire country. You won’t see it though, because the route is mostly tunnels (really). We clipped along at 158 kph (guessing around 90 mph) and in no time were at Luang Prabang. Again, dog eat dog getting off the train and another 6 or 7 mile minivan drive to town, but I did get dropped off at my hotel.

The hotel was booked with points and is really nice. Former French colonial building on the river. Big room with everything a $100+ a night hotel should have.

I got to my room and tossing each bags contents onto the floor to make sure I really did forget my pills on the boat. I found them in the pocket they should have been in, but I guess my brain was not working when I was looking for them last time. Well that saves me for going to a pharmacy and see if one US generic drug name translates to a Lao generic drug name. Tragedy averted.

Next on my list was specific shopping. One of my tribe members had a very nice hatband and gave me a picture of her receipt, that had the name of the store. The hotel said ‘Go that away’, or maybe they said ‘Go Away’. I hit a likely looking street and passed shops until I was out of shops. Okay, about face. I had passed a shop and decided they might know where the shop I wanted was.

She looked at the receipt and said “That’s my other shop! This is the ethnic style shop and the other is the French style shop”. She was the sales person for my tribe member and remembered her well. I followed her directions and there it was. I found the hat band I liked and for less the $10 had it hand sewn to my Indiana Jones hat that has been with me from Ethiopia to Syria and points in between. I got a few great images while I waited.

Then a roving around I went and around dinner time got back t my hotel. The hotel has a riverside restaurant across the street and I thought I’d give then a try. Meh! Their Lao food it too dumbed down to meet western taste buds. It was food, it didn’t break the bank and seemed good quality Meh!

Night, night.

Morning made coffee and just lay in bed sipping coffee. No set time to be anyplace. The first time in about 2 weeks that I haven’t had a schedule to meet. Back to riverside for breakfast and last night’s cat who sat near me the entire dinner, well he sat next to me the entire breakfast.

That fingernail I had repaired (improperly) in Vientiane had cracked again and was on the verge of breaking and taking skin with it. Maybe I could have lived with it, but let’s get it fixed. “Dear Google find me a nail salon”. The closest one was a 20 minute walk, so one foot in front of the other, following Google maps. Found it, with the door locked and the windows so dusty you could tell it hadn’t been open in quite a spell. Next on the list 15 minute walk. They had rolled metal shutter down and locked, with For Sale sign affixed to it. Next on the list, another 15 minute walk, mostly back the way I came and then off in a new direction. Flippin’ A ! It was open and doing business! I showed the lead woman my owie and she said sit down and we’ll get to you.

By now I was happy to sit down I’d gotten my ‘Steps’ in for the day, about 2 miles. When it was my turn the technician was exceptionally gentle taking little nibbles out of the broken nail careful not to hurt me. I typed into Google translate “Very gentle” to tell her she was doing a great job, and then said it as I handed it to her. She looked it and gave me the oddest look. I looked at me phone and G Translate had heard me say “very gentle” after I had already typed it, and added something on it’s own. I looked at what it was translating “Very Gentle. Very gentle virgin”. What the F ??! No wonder she thought I was wacko. I started laughing and so did she. At least Google translate is good for a laugh sometimes.

At one point she broke off a small piece of orange peel and spritzed the zest to her nose. I asked her if I was stinky, and she said no it was because she was pregnant. She did have a bit of a tummy, but we all know never to ask a question you might regret. When she was done, nice job, the bill was for $2 in Lao, I gave her a generous tip. She said no, I said for the baby and we were both happy.

Walking back, the restaurant I want to eat at was on the way. I only became almost roadkill once crossing a street to make reservations. Than back to the hotel. Over 4 miles just to get one fingernail fixed. There must be a moral in there somewhere.

The (not) chiicken bus

 

January 8 2023, Luang Prabang (part 2)

After cruising most of the afternoon. We docked on the Lao side of the river and then boarded mini busses for a trip back down the river to get out and go through Lao departure formalities. Then on a different bus to cross the long bridge to Thai Immigration. Half way across the road had a lane change, like an X where normal Lao driving became backwards English Thai driving.

Then Immigration, passports, facial bio metrics and full electronic finger printing. That was frustrating, since my fingers are difficult to print but after 4 or 5 tried the machine beeped green and I was done. Only 20 more clueless tourists, Mr. Immigration. Another bus and back at the boat. Whew!

Rest, wash and get daily cocktail. Then, not mandatory, but strongly suggested, group thank you claps for each of the crew members. After came the Thai dancers, the women were very similar to the ones of the boat earlier on the cruise. The men, wow! They brought a bass drum that must have been 4 feet in diameter and they beat that thing into submission. It was crying when they got done. If you ever needed CPR just stand behind the drummer and the concussion would get your heart going again.

Finally dinner, it had been 5 hours since out last full meal after all. I noshed a little and then left for Casa Theresa. Long day planned for the next day, and frankly I just didn’t want any more food.

Lights out and then up at 6am.

Breakfast and coffee. It was different. Not the usual chitter chatter. I think everyone had already said good bye to the boat and passengers. A final wave to Judi and part of my team. I walked to the bow of the boat thinking there might be a good morning photo, but there wasn’t. Vieng was though. We got talking personal and I found out a few things that weren’t in the program. Like his dad skipped the draft and moved to Minnesota leaving wife and kids in the dust. He said except for two passengers he hoped the next 5 tours this year were as good as this one. I told him and pointed to out least favorite South African’s cabin and he agreed. He said even when he went way out of his way for her it wasn’t good enough, and she was generally rude. I am glad that my and Judi’s assessment abut her was warranted. Soon it was my turn to say good bye. The whole mini bus, X in the road back to Laos in reverse.

After clearing Immigration once again into Laos, Some guy asked me where I was going and said give him money. Uhh.. oookk.. With our luggage strapped to the roof of a bench lined mini pick-up truck eight of us were off. Most of them had plastic tags hung around their necks the majority said Slow Boat Luang Prabang. I got a sticker on my left breast. At the sorting place the owner was selling SIM cards, booking room and generally hustling buck. He asked y destination and he explained my entire itinerary to me. He said Vieng had called him and told him to expect me.

Then back in the trucks and next stop the bus terminal, there sticker guy says there’s yer bus. It wasn’t much to look at from the outside and less from the interior Sweat stained, ripped seats for 22. Luggage on the roof and every seat taken. Nursing mothers. People going home. At least no chickens or pigs but it was not a bus that ran for tourists. Three other whites and 16 locals. Six hours of knees to chin, DVT inducing bus travel. I had never been n a slow motion bus before. Snail crawl up mountains, and tortoise creeping down hill. No springs or shocks on the suspension Ruts and pot holes bred like rabbits and this was a major highway. I actually flew in the air twice in the air on 2 bumps. 90 miles in six hours.

Then we arrived in Luang Namtha. Haha, just kidding! It is 16km via another pickup truck. The white men took charge and negotiated a price and we continued on. I had a hotel reserved so had to find and negotiate a took took to the hotel.

A little out of town up the side of a hill overlooking the valley. Check in was smooth and I was in my room and all set. I was road weary and would have eaten potato chips and Altoids for dinner before I road to town for dinner. She whipped up a nice noodle and hamburger meal. Kind of the Lao version of Hamburger Helper.

The room was very nice, very modern and very cold, and mini A/C heater did not work. There was noise, masquerading as music for a nearby bar. It was so loud that I could not watch a Netflix show, because I couldn’t hear it. It was at a volume setting of 11. To top it off the deejay would play 20 seconds of one song and then stop and a different song, or the same song. It was awful. Did I tell you In was beat? At nine I walked to the front desk, because the phone didn’t work to find out how long this cat torture usually went to. Till about ten pm. Sigh! Okay, thanks.

The music quit almost at once, I bet she bitched. The room was still ice box cold, so I went to bed to escape.

This morning came. With a between 9am and 930am taxi to the train. It was too cold to shower, the hot water kettle kept shutting off without heating the water. I couldn’t find the anti malarial drugs and the remainder of my daily dug regimen. I must have left them on the darned boat! I searched everything I had and no pills. I assume I can go to a pharmacy in Luang Prabang (I gather you understand I was/am not spending a second night here)

This is not going according to plan.

At 929am the taxi shows up, the hotel offered me a free to go lunch, but I think I can make it 4 hours to Luang Prabang without starving. The staff was outstanding, the decor was first class, and the bed nice, if the damn heater worked and it wasn’t inside of a disco, it would be a nice place.

The reason to come to this town was to save time over the slow boats and the train stopped here. Well, I did beat them, by a whole two hours. The train station is 24 miles from town so a taxi was necessary. Off we go, with one stop at a hotel for one additional passenger. Back we go and then turn off onto a dirt road deep into a village where a white face hasn't been seen since the French occupied it. Where TWO more guys get in! Five grown adults in a car built for a maximum of 4 Americans for the next hour and a quarter. I think me and the man next to me are now engaged or should be.

At long last we did arrive at the train station, 2 hours early.

This is getting too long – I will pick it up on the next entry

 

Laos to Thailand

 

January 6 2023 – River to border

Last day on the river. Breakfast, village walk, lunch and then across the border this afternoon.

Plans have changed, a minor since last time. They have changed about a dozen times already. Stay in Laos. Get speedboat to Luang Prabang. Get slow boat to Luang Prabang. Get bus to L.P.. Get bus to Luang Namtha and immediately get on train to Luang Prabang. After glancing at Lonely Planet, Lauang Namtha seems like a reasonable town for the night of maybe two and then catch the train to Luang Prabang and figure out the next leg to the Plain of Jars.

Vieng the guide said that it was just as expensive to stay on the boat and then pay for a second Visa of Arrival than it was to get a hotel in Laos, and the accommodations are probably better on the boat than in Laos.

I spent some of the morning fighting with the ship’s WiFi and finally got cellular data and made reservations for tomorrow night’s hotel in Luang Namtha, so that is off of my mind.

After breakfast another village walk. Not much different that the last 4, but it is probably the only thing that the company can offer since there are only 3 major towns out entire time. Vientiane, Luang Prabang and the border. The space in between is just villages, bridges and the damn dam. Except for a couple buffalo and a chicken those were the only things of interest to me in the town. There was one very handsome rooster who was tied to a post in the roof rafters. He was a special rooster. He was taken to the forest and staked out. Then the wild roosters would come and challenge him for territory and the farmer would shoot or catch them for tonight’s stew pot and handsome rooster would go home back to the rafters. He must be a pretty handsome boy, since the outside of the hut were 2 tail feathers from each of his conquests.

Now back on the boat, with nothing but eat and our own devices. By devices I mean cell phones and tablets. Bandwidth is limited probably because the ships WiFi is the same cell signal as my phone, and every cell phone on the ship is trying to get ail from home and a few (men) are hogging the already narrow bandwidth with high bit rate videos. Sigh! Either they don’t know how WiFi works or they are just wireless hogs.

 

Monkeys and Scrabble Ladies

 

January 5 2023, Someplace further up the river

After a fine lunch of what I don’t recall we were set upon your own devices for a couple hours. This meant, novels to read, sun rays to catch, letters and numbers in a grid to write out and from time to time get a refill of your wine glass.

Afternoon entertainment was how to cook a Papaya and a fish salad. The papaya I’ll never do, just not my style, the fish salad I might.

We were supposed to spend the night outside of an internet village, but ran out of river time. Sundown 545 and no river traffic after that. At least no Pandaw river time. So at 530 we nosed into a nearby sandbank and tied one line to a tree and the other to a big rock. It was not what I had planned, but getting off again and feeling sand between my toes was pretty nice.

Two of my tribe started playing at badminton one of them I am sure was pretty athletic, but the birdie would come to her and she would hit at it like you do a tennis ball, flat back. In badminton you have to hit it up and back The birdie would come to her, and she’s hit it – splat! - into the sand. Try and try again, flat, not up. Then a high flier came to her, she went back to a great overhead smash tripped and both she and the birdie landed on their rounded parts in the sand. Of course this didn’t happen in a vacuum and anyone with a camera, phone or sketchpad all got it captured for future generations. At least she missed the cow patty, I think.

Again dinner came and conversations needed to be made. I had already heard most of the stories from my tribe, so I seated myself with the opposing tribe. That and there were no seats available with my tribe. I say tribe jokingly but after a few days like people find like people. The opposing side was the ‘Ladies who Scrabble’ and their respective Casper Milquetoast husbands. Boring and tittery. Except for one man who had enough ego for the lot of them and he monopolized the entire meal time with tales of daring do, like shopping in Saudi Arabia, which is much less entertaining than it should be if you use his tale as the baseline. Needless to say, I’ll eat solo before I waste any more precious seconds of my life with the “Ladies who Scrabble”

I know there was an evening something to do, but I’ve already forgotten what it was.

Today the boat pulled away exactly at 7am and within an hour we reached the place we had intended last eve. Because of the annual flooding the villages are all built a mountain goat climb from the water’s edge and this village was typical. The exception to this village climb is that instead of alluvial sand the banks was vertical volcanic rock. Sharp as a razor and straight up. Small cracks are there from time to time and at each crevice there was a crew member to grab a wrist and Sherpa the passengers up the cliff face. It might be an exaggeration a hint, but it was steep, and sharp.

The village to me was the same as the last and the one before. The major difference in that today the Travelin’ School M’arm was in place today and all of the usual gaggle of children with learning their letters or numbers or … something that is really unlikely to be of use to them later in life, since it is either cultivation, fishing or child rearing that the vast vat majority of them will ever need to know.

The adults seemed welcoming to us, with Vieng stopping to chat and ask them about life. One Pandaw aged man only had one arm. He had it shortened when he struck an unexploded ordinance 30 years ago. He refereed to it as ‘the American bomb’. And I guess you really can’t blame him. The bomb statisticians say the for nine years, every eight minutes a load of bombs was dumped on Laos, and they weren’t even in the Vietnam war! Only about 2/3 of the bombs got instantaneously smaller as planned, which left 1/3rd of them to hang around for the unfortunate farmer, child or livestock before changing and ending lives years later.

Through the village we tromped,, peeking into their homes and looking under the rugs for dirt. Across the creek was the Buddhist temple and the only thing to hold a tourist’s attention were the two monkeys that the monk had captured and leashed to a tree in Saffron cloth. The simian slaves were cute and entertaining. Someone gave a child a couple Lao Kip to get a banana bunch. The monkey’s thought it was Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years all rolled into one. One of the two Florida sisters offered a banana to and got a snarl. So, the smart thing to do in that case is to step closer and reach within easy monkey grasp to your elbow. For a woman in her 60’s she has surprisingly good reflexes in jumping back from an aggressive ape. She is not ‘The Monkey Whisperer’.

Back to lunch and then speaking of necessary life skills we had a class on how to fold a napkin to look like a Kimono or a Rose, and then for extra credit how to make an Elephant out of a bath towel and two washcloths. All skills that we will use daily the remainder of our lives.

Afternoon doldrums have set in so I’ll stop for now.

Holy Rats! Batman!

 

January 4^th 2023 – Someplace between here and there

Yesterday in Luang Prabang was the first day I used the alarm function. Five am comes very early, even in the tropics.

530 coffee and on the pavement at 545. Off we went through the dead quiet streets. Except for one guy, everything he said he had to say loudly, and he had a lot to say. Then every dog he saw on the street he approached and it would usually start barking. I would have shot him if I lived on that street. He really ruined the tranquility of a morning intended for contemplation and reflection as we shared alms with the monks.

The ship had already arranged our spot on the sidewalk to present the alms to the monks. A long 10 person mat and ten little stools, more suited for seating kindergartners that adults. Butts lower than knees and knees at your chin. A covered bowl before each stool and a sash to wear. Left shoulder across the body and tied at the right waist.

Down the street in the darkness I could just see a line saffron starting to show. Then they were on us. A very orderly line of men each in turn stopping to receive a pinch of rice before stepping to the next person on the sidewalk stools.

From the corner there were about 20 tourists and then one local woman. She had all the proper equipment and what I thought was a trash basket. Each monk would receive a pinch of rice, but every now and then one of them would drop a white mass into her trash basket. I thought it was nice she has a place for used Kleenex. I was wrong as I found out later. The basket was when a monk thought he had too much food, that he would take some of his own and place it in her basket. Than at the conclusion she would either leave the basket or it would be collected by the poor and they would also have some food for the day.

After the monks ended we briskly walked to the morning market. It was different than both night markets. The one in Vientiane was mostly for locals to but clothing and phone cases and the like. Prabang Luang was an organized Cairo street bazaar. Morning market was some tourist incentive purchases, but primarily it was for the day’s grocery shopping. Fresh fish, and cuts of meat. Vegetables and herbs. Live chickens and of course what would a day’s menu not include? A nice dried rat or bat. All cleaned and ready for roasting.

Then back to the boat for our breakfast and some upstream motoring. This gave me an opportunity to pick at the knots of my crone bondage and I got all off without resorting to scissors, my teeth or a machete. Soon after my chakra’s were released, or cleansed we arrived at some caves.

These caves have been used for centuries as a place to bring and leave a Buddha statue. The cave is jam packed with them. Big ones, small ones, and even pocket sized ones. Everywhere a statue. So many in fact there were so many that they had to find a second cave higher in the cliff for more. The cave was ?? 200 ?? steps from the main one. When I got there, my Apple watch was buzzing like a hornet. I guess I had closed my ‘Steps ring, my Exercise ring and my Stand ring’, plus 15 flights of stairs.

Back at the first cave there was a mat and on the mat was a cup of chopsticks and pieces of paper in slots on the wall. You took the cup in your hands and tapped it gently as the chopsticks slowly inched up the cup until one fell out. This was your fortune. You looked at the number on the stick and found the corresponding numbered piece of paper and your fortune was written on the paper. Some fortunes were good, and some were not quite as good. It goes without saying that mine was perfect.

As an aside each Buddha pose is for one day of the week. For example, the Buddha standing with palms facing out front at chest high is the Monday Buddha. Based on the day of your birth. Google told me my birth day and it is the reclining Buddha. I do believe that finally something I can put my faith in.

Evening we beached at a sandbank and the crew started carrying tables and chairs out onto the sand. Some of the crew climbed into the jungle and starred tossing down dead trees and limbs. The plastic chairs were draped in cloth and then tied with ribbons and set in a semi circle around the dried logs. With the help of a Butane torch it was soon a nice bon fire an our dining room was prepared. Grilled food came by and then at the conclusion of dinner we set paper lanterns into the night sky. I was expecting hokey and instead was really pleasantly surprised.

Bed and morning came at 630 to the sound of engines and the day was started. A few hours of motoring and another sandbank and another village tour. Each one is the same as the one before, but each different in it’s own way. This one felt more like a real village, not a government planed community. The streets were not linear but instead followed the contours of the earth. This village had been established a long time ago. The tourist draw for this one was the women did fine embroidery in their down time and excellent work at that. The ladies would then take their work to Luang Prabang to sell in the night market. I think they were happy to see us for a few reasons. No UPS fees to get the embroidery to the big city on a long tailed boat. All cash, well the night market is all cash to begin with and no haggling. I think the passengers were happy too. No haggling, one flat price and they were pretty certain of getting an item made in Laos and not some factory I China.

I bought one and paid for it in Kip. I heard “Do they take dollars?” No. One of the members of my tribe puled me aside and asked me if I had any more Kip. I had a million (+\- $65) and so I had to lose my millionaire status. Alas now I am just among the 100k class.

Back to the boat and lunch.

New Year and you don't need to buy her a drink first

January 2 2023 – Luang Prabang, Laos

If there are no pictures, they will come, just not good internet

Out with the old and in with the new, though it feels like nothing has changed. In reality probably nothing has. I made and Irish Exit around 1030 and was in bed by 1045. I was still feeling tired and beat up and Judi gave me a couple Advil night time tablets and the rest is blank until 5 or 6am. It was the best sleep I had on the trip up to that point. I the movie ‘Airplane’ has a scene where someone is having a panic attack and one of the crew members calls out “Does anyone have a Valium?” and twenty people are offering all sorts of assorted narcotics. It was almost like that when I said to my seatmate at breakfast that I had forgotten my Aleve at home. Tylenol, Advil, Aspirin and some European brands I had never heard of all in different dosages and addition effects. Cold, nighttime, etc. were all offered by the entire table. Judi’s offering worked well.

I did hear some yelling and Happy New Year shouts, but I turned on my other side and was back asleep in a thrice. It was very, very quiet on the boat the next morning.

The reason I left without saying good bye is there seems to be a formal ceremony about leaving. Need to explain and sometimes lie. One male passenger has a medical problem that makes swallowing difficult and uses two walking sticks for balance. If I get up to leave the table, he stands. It is sweet and makes me feel unworthy, and a hint uncomfortable. If I get up for water or something, he’ll stay sitting, but when I leave, it’s – stand, nod and say good night.

The locks begin operation daily at 8am and we were the first in line. At 730 we started moving toward the dam and at exactly 8am our boat’s nose was just entering the first lock. The lock is wide enough for the boat with maybe ½ to ¾ of a meter on each side. The big doors in the back slowly shut. I can watch the daylight go narrower and narrower until the doors are shut. I couldn’t feel the boat rise, but I could watch the walls descend by the inch. When the water reached a certain black line, the doors in front opened and we entered the second lock and repeated the process once again.

When the doors in front opened we floated free into a large lake. No longer the river that we had been on the previous days. Several hours later after sunbathing and lunch off on the next excursion. The butterfly garden, waterfalls, black bear rescue and an added treat of the bison farm. The waterfalls are world famous and on my required list for Laos. The bear, butterfly and bison farm not so much. As matter of fact I would have skipped the butterfly farm. Flying worms are fine and all, but not my first choice for reason to offload and reload a 9 person mini van.

The walking path up to the falls passed by the Black Bear Rescue and we gawked at the area to find a bear, but the keeper told Vieng that the bears probably were just resting. I asked Vieng if he knew what the bears ate. “He said vegetables, but no meat”. “I said would you please make a sound of a vegetable, maybe they will come then” --- he didn’t laugh. My crew mates did though.

The rest of the trek up the stream to the pools and waterfalls was a nice walk. Each pool better than the once before and the same for the falls. At the final falls it all made the butterflies, bad joke and sweaty walk worth it for me, as did it for a million of my closest friends. It is generally busy, but ‘Doh!’ -- it is New Year’s day and everyone has the day off. I jostled and got jostled for prime photo real estate. It used to be that there was that one photographer who would hog that prime spot, changing lenses, F stops, shutter speeds and filters for hours, until I would often just step in front of his camera and get the photos I wanted. Now it is the Instagram people. Generally a female with a boyfriend standing in the same spot for pose after pose after pose. Hair, behind the ear, hair over the ear. Look up, look down, move 1/16th of an inch and do it all again only this time look at the camera over your shoulder. I found that when I got bored watching them, if I didn’t ruin their picture, just invade to camera man’s personal space they got the ideal and relinquished the spot for others. I wasn’t a complete twat about it, I hope. I did offer and had accepted with pantomime that I’d take a picture of both of them together and I promised I wouldn’t run off with their camera, a time or three.

Time ran out and we walked back down to the mini busses and off to the Bison farm. Lao eat meat, but not milk. The bison farm is trying cross breeding and education of the Lao people that with 40% of their children malnourished that maybe a better solution would be give the kids milk and not kill the cow. It was a good presentation. I did find out that you don’t have to buy the cow a glass of wine before you can touch her tits. The most fun was watching our group try and milk a cow. But the biggest thrill for the crowd was feeding thee young’ins from the bottle. The guide said they were too old to be on milk and should be solely on vegetation but one or two of them were addicts and would do anything for their ‘fix’.

Back to the boat and sun-downers and appetizer. Then there was some sort of dancing with weird hand contortions, that looks like they were trying very hard not to smudge their freshly painted nails. Someone should tell them about gel nail color, but it might have an effect on the dance I fear. Then several mature women went and practiced bondage on all of us. There are 32 (?) Chakras (?) and the 16 women each tied two ropes out wrists.

After that we looked like we had tried to cut out wrists and then bandaged them with torn bed sheets.

Dinner and bed followed.

Today we visited the former palace of the King. It was built in the 1930 by the French, so wasn’t very historic. There were 16 panels of a mythical story. One of those, if you complete the task you get wishes granted. So the husband and the wife decided to strive for the wishes. I don’t remember all of the wishes, but shiny black hair, eyes as blue as a butterfly wing, sons, and breasts that always looked up. No saggy boobies.

The whole place as a NO area. No knees, shoulders, hats, shoes and camera. A few temples, but if you want to know more about them I’ll loan you my Lonely Planet book.

Back at the boat for lunch which was the same as before, way too much food. Then I went to the back of the boat and found my local narcotics pusher and begged a nice German Camel filter.

The afternoon was free,, so I did Rest and Relaxation and nixed the bike ride. The traffic is similar to most Asian cities, center lines are not here to prove you are on pavement, not for traffic separation. Stop signs are suggestions. Pedestrians are targets, and an motor scooters are Kamikaze.

I wandered around on foot a bit after 4pm and over the next 3 hours ran into half of my crew mates. One couple left the ship for the night. Their cabin is back by the engine and generator and neither of them could sleep since the start of the tip. There got a hotel off the boat for the night.

I had some round Lao pancakes. That were darned good. Did some shopping, and did some so-so negotiation. One transaction she was very happy with the sale, which means she had just caught a huge Tuna. There was so much goodness in the exchange she ran around her stall slapping the other merchandise with the bills. Sort of telling tem “See?? This is what you are supposed to do !”. The other purchases were more along the give and take where they start high, and I start low and we play numbers.

Walking back to the boat, down a dark, untouristed street I watched the men skin a crocodile and set up a barbie on the sidewalk. Not in a brazier, but in the actual concrete. A few meters on, up the street weaved a local who had had several to many BeerLao’s. Who gave me a friendly hello, he was with two women. One f the woman kept saying “Madame, madame” When I looked at her she was squatting in the bushes of the Royal Palace pee’ing. Yup, ways too many BeerLao.

Back on the boat after supper one of my favorite tribe members and I had a nice long chat about our mutual home towns. The live in a town that is the conclusion point for an aproximate 40km pilgramage. I’ll have to get her to write the name of the town for me, since I have the memory of a Gold Fish.

Then bed with a 5am wake up call to go feed the monks.

 

New Year eve

 

December 31 2022 – A dam on the Mekong

 

I'll get pictures for this when i get stronger WiFi

Another day of little occurrence. It is New Year’s Eve and it seems like it is a big deal to almost all the people on this boat except for me. Last year on this same day, and probably next year will be the same. I fail to see what the big hullabaloo is. Even the boats cast is offering a special dinner the included steak and free wine for everyone, regardless of financial outlay. I’ll let them have their artificial celebration and maybe at 2pm tomorrow I’ll celebrate, when it is midnight at home.

Last night was a little rough in the sleeping department. Light chills and aches. 6Am magical elixir of caffeine and sugar got things mostly on the right path. The vessel's plan was 630am departure and a village or two stop and hopefully 330pm at the dam to get on the lock up before the 4pm closing.

Well the thick morning for put the end to that exciting day. What is it? Man plans, God laughs. Well you could hear the guffaws from the coming from the clouds this morn. Around eight it had cleared enough that we could see across the river and enough that we could safely (?) navigate.

The rest of the morning was motoring alone the river and motoring along the river, etc, etc. I listened to two life stories and got bored with that as so started my stopwatch and timed each of the lap walkers. It was neck and neck fr a while between the Canadian and the Swiss. In the last final seconds the Canadian edged ahead of the Swiss by Gnome.

Then there was lunch, where I am not certain that the passengers were eating because they were hungry, or out of boredom. As has been the previous lunches it was the size of dinner for most people, except Americans. After that we slid onto the bank for a village tour. I don;t think this one was any better or worse that the previous one. Vieng kept this walk more about the village and less about being children’s Willy Wonka of candy at the conclusion of the walk.

The river bank was steep and all alluvial sand. The crew was good enough to cut foot holds into the sand and the path was lined with the entire ship’s compliment stationed just far enough apart of form a human bucket brigade to pull each of us up the bank.

The two highlights for me was the distilled rice wine tasting and … Yesterday had been a big celebration and there was of course still a few men helping to clean up that was left of the party. By that I mean, they were sitting in the shade, swapping lies and downing shots. It came time for my trial by liquid fire and I got a Ladies size of a pour, which was about a shot glass full. I took a sniff and found it completely odorless as well as ice clear. Everyone was watching me, my fellow tribe mates, the locals and the crew. I thought a sip would not be in the spirit of the occasion so tossed it back like a Russian sailor on shore leave. I didn’t get an ovation, but I do feel I was at least entertaining.

Of course the tribal members was ‘Sah Be Dah”ing and one they passed . I bet even a few of them said hello to the pigs in Lao. I am minding my own business, not Sah Be Dah anyone an a late elementary school girl came over and said “Hello” Wow! She knew Hello and goodbye. She didn’t know “Name” yet, but she got the concept and after “My name is Theresa”, she came back with “My name Mong”. I thought she deserved more than a sah be dah,, or Kop Jai. (Thank you). I gave her my pen and she Kop Jai med. Then she walked a few steps away and tested it on her hand. Luckily it worked. -- gave a pen to a boy years ago and he wrote on his hand. It was a new pen and did not write, and he told me. I just need the friction of a piece of paper to get the ball to do that first bit of a roll to get the ink to start flowing. I whipped out my Lonely Planet an found a blank page and mimed scribble here. “Oh, no Madam!!”. It took some convincing him it was alright to write in my book. It was MY book! To both of our satisfaction the pen came to life and scribbled in the book. --- back to the village. Five minutes later Momg handed me a flower, and her posse also added a few more. My cynical self said she wanted something else, but all I has was cash. No more pens absolutely nothing. They hung around until we got back on the boat. I’ll have to buy 10 pack of pens at the next city we come to.

Then we were back motoring up the river. I found a unclaimed chaise and stretched out and zoned out. Three thirty came and went so we missed the boat elevator and on we chugged. We stopped in view of the damn dam and here we sit.

New Year’s Eve dinner was special with actual steak. The chef got an ovation after the meal. I am still on the ‘Let’s not get more of Theresa” program o stuck to appetizer and soup.

Now the boom box is cranked up and the girls are dancing with the girls, just like in High School. I should take over dj’ing the choices are questionable.